Not your ordinary Test Prep

As a reading teacher, I am always looking of ways to enhance my instruction, and to come up with engaging ways for readers to teach reading skills to 6th graders. We all know once January hits, things get really crazy. We have to contend with Telpas calibration, Telpas writing collections, Telpas testing, preparing for state testing. So how do we prepare for state testing usually is cramming test passages after test passage down kids throats. I don't know about you but I feel that is a waste of time and energy. There is a better way!

I can pull test questions from the State test and engage students into a discuss about what they notice. So here is how it works in my class.

First Idea:

Day 1:

1. We lay the questions out and read through them and students work as a table and pull vocabulary that we are unfamiliar with and make an anchor chart of them.

2. We categorize whether the words are Academic vocabulary or Tier 2 vocabulary.

3. They then work together determining if the word a word necessary to answer the question or to understand the questions

4. We then discuss how to determine the meaning of unknown words:

- we talked about using context clues, use the ideas in the text

- we talked about using a Thesaurus and a dictionary (online and textbook)

5. Students by now have narrowed the list down with the help of me guiding them through the questioning. SO they work to create frayer models over the words they still don't know the meaning.

6. We create an anchor chart of representing Tier 2 words and academic words.

Day 2

1. we read through the questions and determine where we could possible find the answer to the text: Using QAR- which I previously taught.

they have a large poster of the QAR chart and they sort their questions. Students are then allowed to walk around and do a gallery walk of their table mates poster and go back and determine if they want to change anything based on their walk.- they put a sticky note on it and explain why they moved it if they did. Teacher checks each table giving feedback.

Day 3

1 We work on identify the reading skills that the questions address. We talk about/review the meaning of those skills we have learned and make an anchor chart of those we haven't addressed.

Day 4

1. We read the questions and work through which question doesn't effectively address the skill the question is asking about.

2. Strategies to answer questions is addressed at this point.

Day 5:

1. We talk about different reading genre and create anchor charts of the characteristics

2. students are then task to work in pairs and read the passage that the questions we have worked on all week and answer the questions.

3. Teacher is doing voice overs to help to scaffold and guide students as they answer, reminding them of strategies.

More great ideas that I have used are:

• Sorting activities,
• Task cards
• Do Now- Staar like question stems
• Create Jeopardy games
• Use Padlet or Booklet

Another great idea is to use the learning targets that have been found to be on most of the old state test and and create lessons specific to the Teks and the question types can be rewritten over a mentor text.

I have create bingo reading response boards around Teks, or use the question stems from a standard test and write questions about a read aloud or reading passage students will be reading independently.

So you see there are so many other ways to prep students for Standardize state test rather than having kids do passage after passage. I feel like doing that harms more then it helps. Kids are so tired of looking at passages they will either excel or fail. In my opinion most kids will get tired and not take the test serious and just skim passages or just mark without reading the questions.

Doing these activities, I feel exposed them to the staar in various ways. The structure, the vocabulary, the questions, and test taking strategies using unconventional tools and activities.

You can use mini passages to teach and practice skills that can be tested,

challenge kids to use vocabulary in sentences and in oral discussions. I just know heir are more creative ways to practice and set kids up to be prepared for a state exam.

Yes eventually, I expose them to a passage from each genre with the questions and we work through them as a class, in partners and groups, after working a passage for every genre.

The kicker to all this is I start way before the state test date, I hold kids accountable all year, my word walls are up , anchor charts are up, I reteach in small groups. I don't wait until the month before or weeks before the test to start prepping them for the test.

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10 PD books EVERY READING TEACHER NEEDS IN THEIR TOOLBELTS

 As a Reading teacher,  I love learning and sharing what I learned to help others.  My two favorite things to provide is PD on certain topics and ways to use book in the classroom.

10 of my favorite tools and resources!

First of all, I have to admit I have an addiction.  My daughters call it  insanity!  I call it an amazing opportunity to learn.  I love books.  I constantly am buying books from yard sales, book stores, via amazon or scholastic I am always looking for the next great book.  You see your classroom library is your biggest asset if you are a classroom teacher.  Before I share my tools I have to share  my classroom library and let you see what I curated.

My Top Ten Resources

1.   Understanding Text and Readers  by Jennifer Serravallo

                   A great tool to match readers to books and to understand what they should be able to do at a given level.  It gives tips and ideas on how to help readers grow.

2.   Reading Strategies  by Jennifer Serravallo

                     A great book to use for small group instruction or intervention after teaching a whole group lesson.  If students don't get a particular skill or strategy than used the table of contents and find a section to support your goal.  You could use it as a main source of reading instruction as well.  Their are 7 goals that you can plan out.

3.   Reading conferences By  Jennifer Serravallo

                      A great book to  for new teachers or teachers needing a refresher the components of a reading conference and what happens in each one of them.  It provides tips to set up conference, tools to use during conferences, ways to manage the paperwork and  schedule conferences whether they are individual, partner or groups conferences.

4.   The Book Whisper by Donalyn Miller

                     It helps reading teacher understand how t better get students engaged in reading and tools that will not only support them but challenge them as well.

5.  Reading in the Wild by Donalyn Miller

                      If you read book Whisper you have to read this one,  again she opens your eyes and gives you insight and have you question your practices.

6.  Disruptive Thinking by  Kylene Beers

                       It provides prompts and tips for you to ponder and analyze in order to improve your educational instruction,  help students become engaged readers and plan for individual student growth.

7.  Literacy Continuum -  By  Fountas and Pinnell

                          Another tool to help teachers analyze book levels, and what students need to be able to do to move to the next level.  A great resource to become familiar with the characteristics of a reading level.  It includes vocab, word study and grammar work.

8.  Taking Action:  A Handbook For RTI at Work-  by Austin Buffum
                            A great book for educators to read and understand how to use RTI effectively as well as understand the different Tier levels and what needs to happen at each level, who is responsible for each level, and how to implement with ease.

9.  Reading Text complexity Bands-  A  set of chart that provides skills and strategies that readers at various levels should be able to do with the text they are reading. You can easily doo a google search  and find resources that repesent these bands.

10.  How to Differentiate Instruction in Academically Diverse Classroom:    by Carol Tomlinson

                It  covers the fundamentals of differentiation and provides additional information on how to go about differentiation.

Always keep up with current research related to your niche, in order to grow and stay current.   These are just 10 of the many books that are stacked around my house.  I love to read and learn.  

If  You want more titles go follow my FB page;   www.facebook.com/rhonda.educates.5/  

Where I am constantly providing tips, resources and ideas to use in the Reading Classroom.

  

No More Reading logs please

                 Are you tired of Reading logs?  Looking for a new way to hold kids accountable? 

                                                     Things to do in place of Reading Logs

1. Laminate the question cards and have kids pull one as a Do now, during independent reading time and even as a exit ticket to check to see if kids are reading and comprehending.
2. You can have them placed in a center of a poster and have kids do a discussion around a common text.- specified day
3. Have partnerships pull cards and pose questions to one another. - share time
4. You as the teacher can pull a question a day to have kids to respond to during whole group discussions or independent reading.
5. You can create centers with the cards as well. They will go well in the library, check them out on TPT mrseduc8te.
6. You can have students write long and strong over a prompt for a Formative grade.
7. Have kids do a task for a day in their journal from the Reading and Writing prompts
8. Have kids do one pagers.- Summative
9.. Have kids to book reviews- weekly
10. Have the create a test over the book with and answer key- Summative
11. Have a conference with students and use Bands of Text complexity to check understanding
12. Do a informal RR- designate so many students per day.
13. Have kids to complete a plot diagram if it is a Fiction Text
14. Have kids to complete a Nonfiction response activity
15. Have students do a Book swap and read each other's book and then they can come back together and both can share what they learned or understand from the books.

 

Above are the activities that I used in class. I laminate them all and created different activities around them ore even do a choice board chart. Check it in Mrseduc8te TPT shop

Post Pandemic: Now What?

        Can you believe how time has flown?  It seems like Summer just dropped by and kept going.  Even though I taught Summer school, it usually seemed like I had longer than I have this year before school started.  I can say though I was able to relax and and get some not only physical rejuvenation but mental  rejuvenation.  I don't know about you, but after least year.  I questioned whether I wanted to return to the field of teaching.  I literally started looking for other  jobs that will allow me to still do what I love to do teach or work with books. I made a pros and cons list to determine if my passion for the job outweighed my exhaustion. As the days eeked by, my shoulders relaxed, my headaches subsided, my tossing and turning subsided.  I realized I didn't want to give up.  It was Reading that helped me to find a since of peace and serinity.  I want to share my love of books with kids.  I want to show them how reading can take them places they can't afford.  This Summer I was able to read for enjoyment and professionally without having to plan anything.  I felt good about Reading again.  I realized that in order to show a love of reading a lot of things had to take place first. .  I am excited to see what this year will look like without having to do everything everyday using technology.  

       I say all that to say, it's a new school year, now what?  With everyone being requred to return on campus,  it is a little scary since here in Texas the mask mandate has been lifted, and  vaccination numbers are high.  I can't help but wonder what precautions will be taken?  Will we still be required to sanitize after every class? Will we be required to continue to do medical check ins?  Will we have to use shields? Will we have 2 separate lunch rooms with staggered times. Will we get ppo? Will there be sanitation stations?  Will teachers be given necessary cleaning supplies if requested? What about classroom supplies?   What will happen with the 6ft distance rule? So many questions but hardly any answers. On top of all these questions swirling around in my head, we are also still under construction, and have the possibility of having to share rooms this year, due to the new plans.  I have to wrap my mind around that part.  I don't like sharing?  At least that is what my kids say. I say I live in controlled chaos, so I gotta get it together if I have to share a room.  

       Anyway it's that time to prepare for the new year.  I am ready to gear up.   What are you planning for? What do you deem to be most important. For me,  I think building relationships and making students feel safe to be back in the classroom.  Here are some of the things you can do to get to know students, and make kids feel safe. I started creating this list this in my back to school journal.  Yep I have a journal that I use to plan in every year.  I have one from every year I have taught after my 5th year.  I go back and look at them every Summer. They help me process and develop my new list and plans.

                                        20  BEGINNING OF THE YEAR SHENANIGANS!

I do a daily picture book Read Aloud that lends itself to a teaching point related to behavior, instruction, management, and/or organization.  Sometimes we create charts about these books.  My goal is to model reading behaviors and writing about reading before actually getting deep into instruction.

     As students enter the classroom, I welcome them with open arms, provide directions as to what they will be doing and options to sit where they choose. At theie seats, I usually have a welcome poem and a bag of goodies( pencils with  positive says on them, erasers, life savers, gum and pepperments) and the first activities materials.  These activities are what happens most of the class, with independent reading taking place for last 15 minutes of class.  I only have 5  50 mminute classes. When I was in elementary i would do a few of these activities, and then spend time introducing subject area things, such as I did a read aloud to introduce the library, one to introduce journals, one to introduce choosing books, and several other lessons such as Fake reading vs Real reading,  small groups,  partnerships, using rubric, etch  I actually included my Reading Workshop E book in the Beginning of the year Bundle or everythinng in the bundle can be purchased separately as well. 

However, lets talk about typical beginning of the year things that anyone can do to build a repoir with students and create a safe zone for a community of learners.

Start off:

    1.  By making name tents-  students are allowed to decorate them with symbols and words that represent them.-  They share these with their tables and the class.--  I also make one to share. (cardstock of various colors, markers, color pencils, and a model)

   2.  Get to know Bingo boards-  Allow  kids to go around and find classmates that can sign off on the different options on the board-  they must get everyone's signature and ask them a follow up questions abou that square. ( I sign one  the boxes before making copies)

  3.  Introduce yourself to the class.  I create a powerpoint slide about me.  I talk about likes, dislikes, family, career, goals and teaching experience.  Afterwards,  kids get the option to make their own posters about themselves, or complete an  All About Me printed handout.  I let them share these with their tablemates- or we hang them around the class, and do a gallery walk learning about one another.  

  4. Ice Breaker Ideas: 

            --Would You Rather - 2 options that pick a side and walk to the propriate corner and discuss their optons. (nonsense options)

           -- This or That-  Similar to Would you Rather different types of options

           -- I have --  Do you have

          --  M & M  sort:  pose questions that represent each color of the  M&M's. I have kids to complete a response sheet, or you can put a large sheet in middle of table, they can choose what color they want to answer by laying the color on the mat and take turns answering .They keep going until they have answered at least 3 question prompts

          -- Same concept as above can be done with colored tooth pics.

          ---Create an ABC chart where the kids try to come up with names of things that represent your subject area( math words, social studies words, reading words, etcf)

          ---Do a scavenger hunt- have them locate certain things in the class and around the building(get permission) give them a certain amount of time, when they reach the end and have all their signatures, they  can come share their adventure-  I have done this in groups with middle schoolers before. 

    5. Circle up-  Here is where I start sharing some of my feelings,  I  talk about words like effort, grit, kindness, fear, respect, self awareness, responsibility, etc.  I use my SEL posters and create a bulletin board as  I talk about each one of the attributes that learners should exhibit and practice.  We talk about 2 to 3 words each day for a while at the beginning of  the year, talk about mindset.

   6.  I use this prompt every year:  If there was one thing I  wanted my students to know about me it would be....   because.....    I switch it up and have them write on notecards instead of sharing out loud.  If there was one thing I wanted my teacher to know about me it would be..... (you will be amazed at what you can learn)

7.   As a reading teacher, we make book marks- decorating them  with titles of our favorite books, characters, movies, games,shows-( the goal is  to bo back and use these to make a reading list)

8.  We  work together to create an anchor chart:  What needs to happen for learning to take place in our class?  ( usually this happens after we discuss the school wide plan)

9.   I have kids bring 3 items from home that represent them, and we do a daily share.  I assign 3 to 5 people to bring and share.

10.  You can discuss the subject area, what will happen, what is the students job vs Teacher's job. 

11.  You may want to assign jobs to students to make them responsible for the classroom setting.

12.  Set up journals, or folders, allow  kids to decorate,  I give  options, I teach reading so they can use magazines,  their own pictures from home, images of book covers that  I provide. I then have them go to the first clean page in their journal and draw an avatar and add images and phrases of what they things makes a good- reader, writer- mathematician, etc.

13.  Writing- a different prompt daily- 5  to 8 sentences responses( this is something I did when I taught reading it was just about getting the starting to generate entries.

14.  Reading Teachers can have students bring their favorite book from home to share. If you teach writing you can have students talk about their favorite genre to write and why, same with any of the subjects.

15.  As  Reading teachers, I use 20 minutes  for kids to independent read.  I put baskets of books on the desk and observe student behaviors and book choices. I take note to use late.  I also confer with students you can talk about  their books, or just get to know the students, ask questions. and even read with them to model reading behaviors. Writing teachers can do the same as they are writing to prompts daily. (this will give you background on what students do and don't do, strengths and weaknesses)

16.  Give students a tour of the classroom and talk about student  responsibility  in each area.

17.  Talk about expecations for turning in papers, sharpening pencils, using bulletin boards or stations you may have already in place.

18.  Talk about procedures for the RR, the Hallways, cafeteria, library, morning meetings, meeting areas.

19.  Talk to students about Homework expecations if you plan to give it, using supplies, labeling supplies. Talk about what will happen when students are absent.

20.  For the subject areas that use workshop model:  Talk about each component, what will happen, what their job will be vs your job.  At this point, I provide them with a Reading Survey to complete, it helps me be able to make book choices and guage their feelings about Reading.  You can find a survey on any subject area.

         I personally have done alot of these. Check out some of my get know activities by hitting the link in the top right hand corner, My tpt store, Mrseduc8te.  Here is a look into what you will find. The bundle includes all three of the one below plus,  a BOY lesson plan suggestion, and goals setting component.  You can purchase the bundle or each one separately.  Lots of things for setting up the beginning of the school year available.

       

      This is not an exhausted list.  There is so many things to think about at the beginning of the year before starting instruction in relation to  Behvior, management, procedural, and  instruction.  Think about front loading .  You want to make sure  that you set the foundation so you want waste time setting it throughout the year.  That is not to say you want have to revisit them or add some, it just means that I prefer to use my firsts 3 weeks, getting to know my students, building relationships  and  setting the foundation for my subject area. Once I get these things in place I can pay attention to helping students build their reading lives and forming reading identies.  

       The beginning of the year is crucial, it sets the tone for the year.  We all know this year will probably one of the most important years of our careers.  We will have learners coming that may not have been in school for over a year.  We need to set in scaffolds and routines to help those students. 

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MRSEDUC8TE PINTEREST

 How do I prevent the backslide that we as teachers often see happen in some students during Summer vacation?  I create supports to help prevent that from happening.  This is more important in this school year than any other.

If your already out, you can still send suggestions,  tag your schools Facebook page, you may have a class FB page still active or still have access to sent out things to parents and students.

As it closer to the end of the year,  I think about all the work teachers put in during the school year and how when some students come back they have totally lost all the progress they made over the year.  I am mainly concerned about  my below level babies.


SUMMER READING

So I am a teacher,  What are some things that I can do for my students to prevent the back slide?


1.  How about creating a  a Reading Bingo Board.
                make it fun

2.  Provide ziploc bag of books that represent below level, on level and above level .

3.  Give an incentive:

4.Provide a list of on line reading sites  (Funbrain,com is one such site)
                    they have cool games that allow kids to practice reading skills in a fun manner

5. Create a day to meet your new students at the  community library and read to them or help them choose books.

6. Provide parents with  ways to help their students over the Summer

7.  Use Scholastic order forms and give parents options to order on line and have the books sent directly to their homes.

8.  I suggest to students to join the Summer Reading program at their local library

Although  my blog  is mostly dedicated to reading.  I felt a need to focus on sharing what I provided to my students during the Summer.  I definitely create activities  for not just Reading, but Math, and Writing as well.

SUMMER MATH

How do I keep kids engaged in math?

1.  I supply all students with a copy of Multiplication cards

2.  I create a Math  bingo board

3.  I provide math games they can play with Playing cards and dice.  I provide the dice and cards most times
                *The Dollar Store*

4.  I create  a  color ladder  incentive for students.  They color it every time they  study facts, and after they complete one level they move to the next level.  ( Parents are required to sign off)

5.  I provide online sites that students can practice in a fun matter.  (Funbrain.com)

6  Provide parents with a list of ways to help their students.

7.  Other math ideas I plan to use or suggest
                Dominoes, Uno Cards,  Monopoly and Life games are just a few that I will suggest to students

Summer Writing

When I taught fourth grade writing teacher, who has to contend with the STAAR test,  I make sure to have the kids practice writing.

I usually send home at least 1 prompt a week,  alternating between Expository and Narrative

1. Teacher made  Narrative/expository prompts

2.  Writing bingo board

3.  Make shift journals where students free write in daily

I make it clear to students that the Summer practice is meant to keep their minds alert to the skills that they have learned over the year and prepare them for the skills for the grade they are entering.  I tell them it is optional and if they find themselves with nothing to do take 10 to 20 minutes and do an activity .

So what do I do as a teacher?  I prepare students for everyday life.  I show them how what they learne in class will be used in real life.  It has to matter to them.

Goal Setting: New Year , New Beginnning!!

 Another year of making goals without follow through! I think Not!  I refuse  to not go into the new year with an intentional plan.  As I develop my on intentional plan in the mist of this  pandemic at its highest peak.  I feel it is important for students to learn aobut the importance of goals vs dreams/  It is more important then ever if I want to make growth and reach my own dreams  come true to create action plans annd turn them into goals that can be achieved. So during the holiday break my sister, eldest daughter and I got together and decided to make vision boards.  We started off with brainstorming a list of  10 dreams that we have for our lives.  We than thought what is a time line that we can make at least 3 of these dreams into  goals with actionable plans.  So I came up 5 years.   We told ourselves to dream big, so I did.

Dream 1-   Get a passpoart and take a cruise

Dream 2-  Open up my own  Reading conslutant and tutoring center

Dream 3-  Reach my first TPT milestone of 25, 0000 dollars

Dream 4-  To be debt free

Dream 5-   Selfcare/health care-

Dream 6-  To build an office/library in my home

Dream 7-   To have over 100 products in my tpt store by this time next year

Dream 8-   To have at least 3 streams of steady income

Dream 9.    To start a podcast

Dream 10   To turn my E-books into a book

Dreams are just that dreams until you put some actions to them,  so those 3 I picked , I then broke them into 3 mile stones--what are 3 must do things for each to come true.  The last step was to come up with  actionable steps I needed to take from one milestone to the next. Thinking of 2020 I was determined to be intentional with my dreams and goals.  So I thought about what I really wanted to accomplish this year. I wanted them to be realistic and obtainable.  I thought about SMART goals and went to work.  I am determined to move the needle in 2021.

 If you are wondeiing what 3 dreams I turned into goals and plan to work on this year.   Follow me on FB at  rhonda.educ8te.5 and my IG @mrsedu8te where I will be sharing my journey through post, images  and  stories.  As I look at what I wanted to accomplish next year,  I thought about my students and this school year.  The first semester of Hybrid teaching was exhausting.  My biggest frustration was getting students to complete task in a timely manner or to complete them at all.  It seemed they all waited to the last minute to jump on the boat.  We gave make up days and a full  school wide day to allow students to try and catch up.  Some did , others made progress others just didn't try.  So my plan is to use my Goal setting activity  to motivate students to set goals, create actionable steps and to monitor their progress. If you teach reading and want a read aloud to go along with the lesson.  There is a list of the books included in the packet.   

As a teacher,  I feel it is important that after long breaks teachers do a reset in their classrooms,  First start off with reflection on what went right and what went wrong in regards to the lessons and materials used in the first semester?  You can include the reasons behind the entries on the chart.You may even want to create anchor charts.  The thing to remember is that you have to be open minded to what the kids are saying and take it with a grain of salt. This will help you to go back and really think about instructional content, implentation of that instruction and what to do differently or the same.

 As a teacher, we should lead them into a conversation about why we are reflection on last semester.  Have kids to jot down things that went well and didn't go well with them last semester.  Introduce the concept of Mindset matters.  I talk to my students about the difference between having a Fixed Mindset vs having a Growth mindset.  I model this by sharing my own experiences.  I need students to know they are not the only ones's that struggle with staying motivated and encouraged. I work with the students to create anchor charts about what a fixed mindset looks like and a growth mindset looks like.  We connect this concept to the idea of making goals.  

During this new normal that we find ourselves in now, we also see not only adults but kids suffering with being motiviated and postitive about things.  As  a teacher,  I try to pump them up using affirmations, and phrases that demonstrate growth mindset.  I stop them in the mist of a sentence where they are using negative words and replace them with  positive solution oriented words.  For example if they say, : I can't do this!  I rephrase it to say,  I can't do this yet, but with practice I will be able to _______.  They usually laugh and get the point after hearing me restate things often within a day.

I let the students make goals using various tools, we may use a goal post,  the  football field included in the resource,  go to  worddle, the book marks and mages of the brain also included in the product.  If this was the beginning of the year we would do a different activity every day for a week in relation to MIndset and incorporate goal settting  within this concept.  I read aloud books that demonstrates perserverance,  grit , mindsetiand goal setting.  I set out books in the middle of desk for students to read as well.   At the end of the week we talk about the purpose of the week and how a Goal is has to have a plan or it is just a dream. We reflect on the first semester of the year and identify what went right and what went wrong?  We look at what we could have done differently.  We even examine our grades and assignments and question the reasons for grades, the reasons for behaviors that kep them from being successful.   I always do what I ask the students to do, because I want them to know that I value the task and think it is important to their success as students.

Take a look and grab the resource below in my store to help students make goal for the new year.  It includes reflection forms, various goal setting  and mindset graphic organizers, a list of read alouds and much much more.  

 

Please hit the share button and share with your fellow colleagues.  I  Invite you to comment and follow me.  Gearing up for a New Year and a New Me,  Why not take the students along with me.  Excited to see how they use these resources in January. 

Teacher Burnout is Real!

         

                                                            Teacher Burn Out is Real!

          I have been MIA for a while,. I havent' paid attention or focus on my dream of owning my on consulting/tutor business, I have gave the attention that I gave my TPT store during our quarentine . I have to say I am mad at myself, I was making momentum, starting to see changes in growth in one of the residual income streams I started and then the once they decided we were going back to school, as all teachers were doing scrambling to learn new tech, rewrite lesson plans and rethink how they teach. For me, it has been rough. I really wanted to return to work, but it has been rough. I felt like a beginning teacher. We wentt from using google classroom and zoom to being told that we had to start using Canvas and Web Ex. Uh, What is that ? Man was I in for a shock. After 5 intro courses, I was more overwhelmed than when I started. I was so lost and had to rewatch the videos so many times that my head was swiming and my mind blown. I had one week to get this down. I found myself in tears a lot of days and still do. If learning the ins and outs of canvas wasn't enough I then had to learn how to upload assignments into it weekly. Do you know how many clicks that takes? Then if you go check them in student mode, you have to start all over again. Oh my gosh I wasn't sure I would be reading for the beginning of the year. We spent the first 3 weeks remote teaching in an empty classroom.

     As I set in this empty classroom day in and day out, I wondered if things will ever get back to normal.  I spent each day re working canvas lesson from day to day based on the previous day and then was tasked with getting ready for  face to face learning to be told we would be doing both.  I got in my car at the end of  that day, walked in my house and set on the sofa.  All of the sudden, tears fell in buckets.  I really didn't know what I was crying for at first.  As I slowly composed myself,  I knew why.  Things are going to be tough,   I now had to balance teaching both remote and face to face at the same time.  How the heck was I going to be effective was my fears.  As we entered into trainings to prepare for doing both,  I found myself getting negative, getting scared, getting frustrated and down right mad and ready to QUIT!!  I had to dig deep to go into work daily.  Each day I found myself looking at the negatives,  I couldn't get past the fact they were asking so much of us and now I have to be cautious about my health,  make sure I am giving equal education and time to both groups of kids. You no what  that meant right?  I had  to redo lesson,  I was working until 5:30 oclock on campus, going home and working more hours.  The weekends were a bust. I would spend all Saturday reving each day for the next week. I re loaded and loaded lessons so many times that my head was spinning.

    My mind was reeling with thoughts of school daily to the point that I couldn't sleetp.  I toss and turn every night  with questions of did I do this? Did I do that?  What do I need to do?  What needs to happen next?  I was so worried about being prepared and doing my job, that I lost sight of myself.  As if that wasn't bad enough,  social media was infuriating,  I saw non- educators posting  how teachers weren't doing their job,  we were bing crucified with negativity.  If only they knew.  Even at the end of last year, we were scrambling to be preapred to teach the last nine weeks remotely during the quarentine.   We  used gooogle classroom and set up lessons daily.   I rushed to get resources from school in staggered shifts when hwe were allowed to do so to limit contact.  The teachers had to meet via zoom to plan and rework lessons that we had crafted for live teaching into Asychronous learning, while making sure it was engaging enough that kids would show up and join.  Yet,  that didn't happen and we are being blamed for that too!!    I begin to worry about it all,  I was consumed with making sure that I responded to the students who were participating, emailing the ones that didn't and writing and uploading lessons in google classroom, now Canvas.  I was asked to change my layout so many times that it was crazy, because of complaints that it wasn't easy to manuever.  I struggeled with mental exhaustion.  As I had the unit, date, and webex meeting listed daily.    I am old school and love paper pencil.  I teach reading so doing it on line is very challenging,  Trying to keep track of kids reading independently is even more challenging, especially if they are not showing up or doing the task ask of them daily.  I

         I showed up every day logged into google classroom and responded to kids doing the task, we had zoom meetings twice a week to have physical check ins.  Every day my colleagues and I would go back over what we had just did and make sure it was ready and okay for the next day.  We did this for a whole nine weeks, and than the first 3 weeks of school.  So to say we weren't doing our job was disheartening. To see people who cheered for us at one point criticize us the next took a tole on me mentally and emotionally.  I was  already at my wits end as how to get all my kids to engage daily, wondering if they were truly learning anything, If they were alright or needed anything, worried about the  students that needed addtional support in class, how were they expected to do the lessons alone.  I felt like a failure and than someone reminded me of this, what do you have control over?  My actions and me was the answer.  However,  as we know the problem with teachers is not that we care, but we care too much! That we worry about our students more than our own kids at times, but that didn't seem enough.  I had to get off social media and get it together.

   FastForward today we have been doing Hybrid teaching for 6 weeks,  it seems like nothing has changed I am still worried and mentally exhausted trying to get kids to show up and participate, to develop lessons that are not only good for sychronous learning but asynchronous as well.  So we always had to ask, If the kids didn't show up could they do this lesson without me?  A lot of times we had to modify and adjust or I don't know aobut other teachers but I was answering email way past 4:15.  I was answering emails and call on weekends from not just students but parents as well.  I am spending everyday teaching to two groups of people.  I feel chained to the computer at times.  I found myself walking around with the computer in my hand.  I misss checking in on kids and running Reading workshop the way intended,  Instead we were all in mask, with deskshields not moving from our seats,  Everyone working on the computer so that things could be equitable.

      I feel trapped at times.   I can't do anything unique, or get off script and take a turn from the lesson because of questions the students ask or things that I see them doing in their journals as I walking observing and taking notice of things.  The team has to use the same teaching methods, so it will be consistent, I am no longer able to be creative on the spot and teach the way I want and really show my love of Reading.  The kids are glad to have physical contact and be able to socialize with friends and I am glad of that.  However,  I am mentally tired, talking to webex where cameras are closed and no one responds when your ask questions or make a comment, where kids show up sometimes 30 minutes late or even 10 minutes before the class is over,  I give assignments and they are not done, or during class they don't participated in the task we ask of them.  I am tired all the time mentially and I notice it is affecting my health along with areas I refuse to let the negativity, emotional and mental aspect of all this  seep into my family.  I am overwhelmed and mentally exhausted.  

       I wonder daily if I will make it through the whole year.  I have never cried so many tears in my whole teaching career, not even as a beginning teacher and that year was rough!! I contemplate quitting daily,  especially since tht toll I mentioned earlier has seeped into my house hold. My daughters are feeling my anxiety and frustration  I brought it home.  I hated it.  I realized one weekend how I was not a fun person to be around.  I was snappy and moody or I was constantly tied to the computer working.  After having a not so fun conversation with my girls I decided to step back and look at things,  My doctors were worried about me, my daughters were worried about me,  my family was worried about me.  Everybody was worried about me but me.  I write all this to say, Teachers are humans, we have feelings, we are not break, we are working our behinds off to still teach to the highest quality given the circumstances.  We are giving grace to kids and not getting grace from outsiders, You have good teachers quitting and leaving the classroom due to the constraints and restraints being put on them.  Until you walk in my shoes all I ask is that you don't pass judgement on something you have no knowledge about because your having to particiapate now.